Peace in the Family – Painting

Peace in the world begins with peace in the family.

This is one of the fundamental principles of the Baha’i Faith, and yet how difficult it is to do!

HOW DO WE STICK THROUGH THE HARD TIMES?

We are given a clear blueprint on how to end a relationship through every media outlet we have. Movies, TV shows, newspapers and music all teach us to crave the euphoric just-fallen-in-love stage and to run as far away as we can from any sign of problems. 

Where do we learn to call on the strength to sludge through the daily drudgery and terrible heartbreak that comes from giving your heart to someone? If all we see is to run, how do we learn to stick through the hard times?

PROBLEMS FOLLOW YOU, NO MATTER WHERE YOU GO

We usually marry people who are our opposites. We are attracted to the qualities in them that we need to develop in ourselves. This brings our own personal issues into our face twenty-four hours a day. There is no escaping from ourselves, not even if we run away from relationships. The problems will follow us wherever we go and we will end up repeating the same relationship with a different person.

MARRIAGE BUILDERS

Dr. Willard Harley, author of a dozen marriage books and the popular Marriage Builders website, teaches the steps on how to fall in love again with your spouse. We all think that love is just a mysterious coincidence, but in fact there are very specific things that we do that make someone fall in love with us or help us to fall in love with someone. They are not easy things to do. But they do work.

15 HOURS A WEEK

One of the key things that I learned from Dr. Harley is that in order for a relationship to thrive – and to feel in love with each other – you need to spend at least 15 hours a week together.

At first I was shocked when I read this. 15 hours a week? How are we supposed to do that? Somehow I expected that we could live off of the fumes of previous time spent together. But remember how we all fell in love in the first place? By spending a lot of time together. Now when things aren’t going well I can usually trace it back to the simple fact that we have been too busy and not spending enough time together.

PRIORITIZE

Finding 15  hours a week to spend together – not with kids or other people – takes conscious thought, experimentation and prioritization. But wouldn’t you rather be in love again rather than bankrupt and heartbroken?

BABYPROOFING YOUR MARRIAGE

Having children is one of the leading causes of divorce. Your life as you know it is over once that baby pops out. You have to learn to become a parent and try to save your marriage at the same time. Babyproofing Your Marriage is one of the books that I wish I had read before having children. It will make you laugh out loud, cry and possibly cringe at  all of the silly things we do after having children that destroy our marriages. It might also help save yours.

UNIFIED FAMILIES = UNIFIED WORLD

The family is the basic unit of society. In order to have a unified world, we need to have unified families. It all boils down to that.

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Art prints and greeting cards of Peace in the Family  and Peace in the Family (Close Up) are for sale at my Art Store.

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BIG NEWS! I’m selling my art now!

I am so excited to share that I am now selling my art as prints, posters, greeting cards, postcards, t-shirts, hoodies (sweatshirts), stickers and iPod cases! http://www.redbubble.com/people/erikahastings

I have set up sales through an online company called Red Bubble. Here are some FAQs to get you started.

FREQUENTLY ASKED QUESTIONS

I saw one of your paintings or photographs and would like to buy a print of it but don’t see it listed on Red Bubble.

No problem. Just email me at erikahastings@gmail.com, let me know which one you were interested in, and it will be added there.

I’d like to have one of the images on a T-Shirt, Hoodie, iPhone Case or Stickers but I don’t see it listed on Red Bubble.

No problem. Just email me at erikahastings@gmail.com, let me know which image you wanted and in which format and it will be added there.

I’d like to buy one of Erika Hastings’ original paintings. How do I do that?

Sorry. I am not currently selling original art work.

Is it safe to buy online?

Yes. RedBubble takes their works seriously and PayPal has been safely used by millions of people around the world.

What are my shipping and handling costs?

Add you items into the shopping cart and ‘proceed to the checkout.’ Once you add your address and preferred shipping method, your shipping costs will be calculated.

RedBubble is an Australian company with bases in Australia, the US, Canada and the UK. They ship worldwide.

What if I don’t like the purchase?

RedBubble offers a Satisfaction Guaranteed policy. If you are not satisfied with your order you can choose to get your money back, replace the the item or get store credit. Easy as that.

 

If you have any other questions, feel free to leave a comment below or email me at erikahastings@gmail.com.

Have fun and buy some art!  http://www.redbubble.com/people/erikahastings

Building a Snowman – Painting

Excitement in the house today – first snow day of the year!

If My House Were a Bathtub – Painting

If my house were a bathtub

it would always be filled to the brim

with deliciously hot water.

Warm and relaxed,

I would float on my back

and look up at the stars.

My ears would fill with water,

dulling out the sharp sounds.

Calm. Quiet. Silence.

If my house were a bathtub

I would bring in the dirt

just to wash it away.

I would be free from heavy roles and expectations.

The weight of the world on my shoulders

would slip down the drain.

I would be as light as a feather

and as free as a duck -

to float, swim or fly.

I would be free to be me.

If my house were a bathtub.

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This painting and poem is from a series of four black and white watercolor paintings. The first painting is “Mama Bear”, the second is “If My House Were a Couch”, this is the third and the fourth is, “If My House Were a Campfire.”

 

If My House Were a Couch – Painting

If my house were a couch

it would beckon those from far and near

to lay down their troubles and their fears

 for here was a place of rest.

It would call out like a sparrow’s song,

Come, come. The night is long.

Be a candle and melt in to me.

 

If my house were a couch

it would be softer than a newborn’s cheek,

sturdier than a woodpecker’s beak

and smell of fresh cedar boughs.

It would never stain nor need a wash

not even from spaghetti sauce.

 

If my house were a couch

every nook would be a place of rest,

a book would lay upon on my chest

and time would almost stop.

I’d lean back with an iced fruit drink

and ignore the dirty kitchen sink.

My mind would be at peace, I think.

And just imagine, a child’s dream:

my whole house would be a trampoline.

A giggle would come from every bounce.

Laughter would shriek from every pounce.

If my house were a couch.

 

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This is the second painting in a series of black and white watercolor paintings. The first painting was called, Mama Bear. The third and fourth are called, If My House Were a Bathtub and If My House Were a Campfire.

Mama Bear – Painting

When I was in university, I spent my summers in giant clearcuts in the middle of nowhere planting trees. It was grueling work because we were paid per tree, so the more trees we planted, the more money we made. Some days it snowed and it felt like a thousand knives pounding into my torn fingers each time they entered the frozen earth to plant a tree. Some days it rained and rained and I thought I might catch hypothermia. Other days the sun breathed fire with each breath and the black flies encircled me like a tornado, covering the sky, and hungry like a vampire, they left me dripping in blood.

One day I was out on a piece of land that was particularly isolated, minding my own business, planting away, when I looked up and there in front of me stood a black bear. Bears are common in Canada and the advice that we always hear growing up is to make a lot of noise and they will get scared and leave. So I started to sing at the top of lungs.

Unfortunately the singing piqued the bear’s curiosity. It stood up on it’s hind legs, cocked it’s head, and then came walking closer to me.

By this time my heart was pounding like a drum, I was sweating and panicking, and I dropped my treeplanting bags, backed away as fast as I could, made it behind a giant rock and then sprinted for 15 minutes to get out of there. When I finally caught up with my foreman and told him the story, he looked at me, shook his head, and said, “Oh, man. Nothing cool every happens to me!“

_______________________________

 

Grandma and Baby – Painting

As I painted this, it was springtime and I was marveling in the beauty that bursts out of the ground after a long winter. Newborns are like spring, so full of life and color, just screaming with potential. Grandparents and like autumn. They have lived a full, productive and busy life and now they are ripe, like red apples, and beautiful like maple leaves in October. Grandparents impart wisdom, encouragement, love and tranquility as they prepare themselves for winter, the final stage of life.

Sleeping Cat and Baby – Painting

My youngest daughter, Fiona, has a sweet spot for cats and babies. She can sit for hours with a baby, holding and caressing the baby. She can crouch down so calmly and patiently while she waits for the neighborhood cats to come up to her.

Before Fiona was born, I decided to do some research into what the third child of the family was like, since I grew up in a two child family. As more and more of my friends were having children, I started to notice a similar trend in personalities for all of our first borns, and then our second borns, so I started to look more seriously at the Birth Order theory.  Three child families are not so common anymore, in fact, once we decided to have a third, most people were shocked, “Don’t you have enough?” “Why would you want more?” “Are you crazy?”

The baby or last born of the family is the child who tends to have a great sense of humor, be very social, outgoing, and a perceptive people person. They are affectionate and independent. They are the risk-takers who have a “burning desire to make an important contribution to the world” and they are usually the ones who do end up bringing great changes to the world.

When I looked at all of the qualities that are typical in a last born, I thought to myself, “We need more of that in our family!” Our family just felt incomplete, like one more person was waiting for us, waiting to be added to our family. And once Fiona was born, our family truly did feel complete.

This painting is for my third child, Fiona, for bring so much laughter and love to our family.

Pregnantly Waiting – Painting

The week before my sister gave birth, she reminded me of a flower in spring, ready to bloom but waiting patiently for the weather and timing to be just right.

Our daffodils just happened to be blooming and it seemed to be a most appropriate chair for a highly pregnant woman: soft, cushiony and luxuriously silky smooth for all of the aches and pains that come with pregnancy.

I remember at the end stage of my pregnancies that there was no position whatsoever that was comfortable. Lying down hurt. Sitting hurt. Standing hurt. I’m not sure if there is anything more difficult than to be patient in the last week of pregnancy.

Juliet did it beautifully.

The Artificial Womb: Newborn Intensive Care – Painting

Two weeks ago was my first time ever in the Newborn Intensive Care Unit at Children’s Hospital in Vancouver. Shortly after we visited my sister in the hospital, Baby Muffin had difficulty breathing and was quickly whisked away to the N.I.C.U. where she spent the following 5 days being poked and prodded, medicated and supervised. At one point she had 10 tubes poking into her. For two day she was not allowed to be held by her mother or father.





When we found out what has happening, I had an overpowering fear and worry for the baby. I sat down that night to pray and it is the first time in my life that I have ever been struck so strongly with a message, as if God was whispering in my ear, ‘Back off! This is MY child. I will take care of her.‘

And like a flick of a switch, all of fear evaporated into the night sky and I KNEW that this baby was in good hands: in the hospital’s hands and in God’s hands.

In truth, these were the babies that in the past would often die. When we were able to visit again, three days later, to the intensive care unit, surrounded by babies the size of kittens, nestled in their incubators, covered in blankets, cocooned for a time in an artificial womb I was at once grateful for the advances in medical science and at the same time, looking at baby Ruhiyya, a hefty 9lbs 11oz, I thought, ‘This is a healthy baby!’ She was a giant in a room of elves.

A few days later she was able to come home and I was so moved by the experience that I painted Baby Muffin in her half-world: neither in the womb, nor at the mother’s breast, but half way in between cocooned in a white Calla Lily, surrounded by a bed of roses.





Shortly before Ruhiyya was born, I was pondering over the life crises that had unfolded amongst several pregnant friends. I reflected on my past pregnancies and the crisis the came with the birth of each new child: buying and moving to a new (old and broken) house (moving into it while I was in labor), losing a job and loss of income (for a whole year we were on government subsidies), marital crisis and instability, to name a few. I thought about each friend that I knew with children and the crisis that coincided with the birth of that child. I came to the conclusion that a crisis around a birth is necessary.

A crisis is a time when we are motivated to change and to grow, and each new child that enters into a family requires their parents to change, develop and grow in such drastic new ways to accommodate the development of that new being. The quickest way to growth is through crisis. Hence, a crisis in necessary around the birth of a child.

It seems counter-logical because, isn’t having a baby enough crisis?

But upon reflection is the the most illogically logical solution. Children need their parents to grow up FAST so they can parent them in the ways that they need. Crisis stimulates growth.

Having your newborn hooked up to feeding tubes, medication tubes, breathing apparatuses, not being able to hold or nurse your newborn, and in a sense being the hospital’s child for a time being, is a crisis. This is the crisis that my sister and brother-in-law went through two weeks ago.

Upon reflection with them about what they learned from the crisis, it was, without a doubt, patience. Little Ruhiyya, for the future development of her inner potential, needed her parents, and all the rest of us in her midst to learn patience.

For indeed, she is our example. Serenity. The calm eye in the midst of the storm. These are the qualities that describe this little being. From her we will learn patience. For her we will learn patience.

Breastfeeding a Toddler – Painting

I made this painting, “Breastfeeding a Toddler,” last fall, right around the time when Fiona turned two. You might notice that it is similar to the painting I did when she was three months old, “Breastfeeding,” except that she has aged by two years and grown hair.

I had been ever so slowly weaning her with the intention to stop nursing when she turned two. Two years old was the age that I weaned my other two children and it seemed the logical thing to do with Fiona. But with my other two children, I was also pregnant when they were two and I could not get enough to eat and continue breastfeeding. I was perpetually starving.

Fiona turned two and I was not pregnant. In fact we had long decided not to have any other children and suddenly I was no longer externally driven to wean at age two. It was a source of calming, comfort and cuddles before nap time and bed time for her and continues to be, at age two and five months.

The average worldwide weaning age is about 4 years old, which means that many are far below that. The United States, for example, has an average weaning age of about 2-3 months because that is when many women go back to work.

Yet to make an average worldwide weaning age to be 4 years old, it means that many, many more are breastfed long after the age of four. In Mongolia, for example, extended breastfeeding prevails and is so highly cherished that  “there’s an oft-quoted saying that the best wrestlers are breastfed for at least six years – a serious endorsement in a country where wrestling is the national sport.” This comes from a humorous and eye opening article by Ruth Kamnitzer about the different culture norms of breastfeeding, based on where one grows up, “Breastfeeding in the Land of Genghis Khan.” If you  have grown up a country where extended breastfeeding is considered taboo, this article is sure to blow your mind.

Though not my primary intention in extending breastfeeding, it is nevertheless interesting to learn that extended breastfeeding promotes greater immune health, fewer infections, protection from SIDS, higher intelligence, less diabetes, less childhood obesity and less tendency to develop allergic diseases.

When I hold my sweet Fiona close to me and nurse her before bed time, all cuddled up under a cozy blanket, she is nurtured and loved and I am at peace.