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“Sleep, Baby, Sleep.”
It could also be read as, “Sleep! Baby. Sleep!” or if it’s 4am and I’ve been up for 2 hours, it could be “SLEEP! SLEEP! SLEEP! Baby. SLEEEEEEEEEP!”
My paintings in the last year or two have taken on the form of visual mantras or visual affirmations. I paint what I want my life to look like. Then I hang up the painting above my computer and look at it every day. I am a highly visual learner. By seeing this visual prayer every day, it slowly starts to seep into my reality and after awhile I start to notice that I actually believe the message in the painting. Once I believe it, my life and reality then follow.
And so my current visual affirmation is for my baby – almost one and not such a baby anymore – to sleep through the night. Things were going well for quite awhile. But then the teeth arrived. My stress levels soared in the summer (when I’m stressed, Fiona doesn’t sleep). Bad habits were formed. And so on and so on. It got to an all time record low several weeks ago and I was finally motivated to take action. I reviewed The No Cry Sleep Solution and then made a sleep plan, which I am carrying out in various steps.
My first step in the Sleep Plan was to cut out the 10pm wake up (she goes to bed at 7pm and started waking up at 10pm a month and a half ago). No milk, only a brief hug and then leave. The next step was no milk until midnight, only brief hugs and soothing when she wakes up. A few other steps are to make sure she doesn’t fall asleep breastfeeding and keep the middle of the night feeds short (leading to a gradual night weaning).
I’m knocking on some wood right now, but I’m pretty amazed that she is only waking up 2 times now (1:30am and 5:00am) and then is up for the day at 7:30am. It is a drastic improvement from a month ago when there were a few nights where she was waking up every 30 minutes and occasionally up for a few hours in the middle of the night.
My next step is to night wean her from the 1:30am feed by gradually shortening the feeding time and then just using hugs and soothing. After that I’ll work on the 5am feed. And after that, maybe miracles will happen and she’ll sleep through the night. I am definitely read for some sleep. I feel like I’ve been sleep deprived for 7 years now with only brief respite in between babies. Since this is the last child we have decided to have, I found that I have been a lot more tolerant of the night wakings, knowing that “this too shall pass,” but frankly I am ready for this to pass.
I am also eased the fact that I know that it is healthier for older babies NOT to have milk or food in the middle of the night because our bodies were designed for our digestive system to have a rest at night so that all of our body’s energy can go into growth, repair and development. That being said, if the baby is in fact hungry, I would definitely feed her. But in my experience the midnight feeds have more to do with habit that actual hunger. But as anything in life, once a habit is formed, it takes a few weeks of consistency to break the habit and form a new one.
In celebration of babies being carried.
In celebration of wonderful, deliciously comfortable baby carriers.
In celebration of the Ergo and how it has changed my life.
In celebration of babies feeling secure and attached to their parents.
In celebration of cooking dinner and washing dishes while carrying Baby.
In celebration of not getting a sore back or sore shoulders from carrying Baby.
In celebration of International Babywearing Week (Sept. 21-28, 2009).
In celebration of being “Close Enough to Kiss.”

I was looking through these amazing shots one night and learning about bokeh (the blurry part of the photo).
I was so inspired that I ran right out of the house and tried capturing some of my own bokeh from our blooming chives.



I painted this one a few weeks after Fiona was born and Chris was getting ready to go back to work, after taking a month off to help out with the other two kids at home. I never quite got this painting to the level that I wanted it to be. I thought about starting it over again, but of course that might never happen. And I’m actively trying to let go of my perfectionism issues. So it seemed about the right time to post it now.
I had so much fear about doing it all on my own – taking care of three kids all day long and all night long by myself. Somehow I made it through.
Now let’s rewind to about a month and a half ago. Chris got sick. Checked into the hospital. Shortly after that he had his appendix removed and was in recovery for three or four weeks. And so I was single parenting for a lot of that time. And boy did my body ever scream at me: FIND SOME BALANCE ALREADY!
I suspect this is a life-long endeavor, but certain experiences make the need for balance much more apparent. And this last month and half has been one of them.



This is a watercolor painting that I created as a wedding present for my sister-in-law, Emily and my new brother-in-law, Juan Pablo. The background of the painting is where Juan Pablo proposed to Emily, in a small village in Italy, and amazingly ended up looking a lot like where they got married, in Ixtapa and Zihuatanejo, Mexico. I had my other sister-in-law email me what the wedding dress was going to look like and included that in the painting as well, in order to surprise them!
The wedding was amazingly beautiful and seamless organized. It started out with a civil ceremony at a gorgeous Villa in Ixtapa that Juan Pablo’s family was staying at. It was then followed by a Catholic ceremony in Zihuatanejo (a town 10 minutes away), and then followed by a Baha’i ceremony back in Ixtapa at a beautiful restaurant just as the sun was setting. What a view! Dinner, dessert and dancing followed, but my night lasted until about 9pm when the kids started to melt down and we had to leave for them to go to bed.

More about the rest of our Mexico vacation to come…
I’ve been working on this Ayyam-i-Ha Calendar for the last week and it is finally finished and up in our kitchen!

Ayyam-i-Ha (Intercalary Days) is the time of gift giving, celebration and service for Baha’is. It lasts for 4 days (5 on leap year) from February 26 – March 1.
I was inspired to create this 19-day countdown to Ayyam-i-Ha calendar from an Advent calendar that I saw on An Ordinary Mom’s blog.
One of the things that makes holidays so special is the traditions that we create around them. My mother was so great at creating memorable traditions for Ayyam-i-Ha when I was growing up, that it has been so easy and natural for me to carry them on with my own kids. We have an extra large Ayyam-i-Ha banner (that my mom made and we used when I was growing up!) and we hang it up in our kitchen. Every day there is a small present inside (chapstick, stickers, etc) as well as a treasure hunt clue. The treasure hunt takes the kids around the house and the final clue leads them to a larger present.
We also decorate the house, listen to Ayyam-i-Ha music, go to parties, do face painting and decorate cookies with colored icing sugar and sprinkles (hence the images on the Ayyam-i-Ha countdown calendar.) When I was growing up we would always visit the seniors home and visit with them and sing for them. This year as a service project and party, we will be decorating cookies with Isabela’s kindergarten classroom.
We will also be adding a new tradition. Each day the kids will get a little sweet treat from the Ayyam-i-Ha Calendar! Oftentimes the anticipation is just as exciting as the actual event.
These were from an Ayyam-i-Ha celebration at our house two years ago.


My parents even attended the party via iChat on the computer!










Even a group of carolers were out on this very beautiful, very snowy night.

This week we got our first snow, so I was inspired to do work on a snow painting. This painting above is an illustration that I did last winter. I sketched it, then took a photo and then “painted” it on photoshop. I always meant to paint it with watercolors as well, but just never got around to it.
Since we now have a new addition to the family, I wanted to add her into the painting. This is the illustration of the three kids playing out in the snow (although Fiona doesn’t exactly play – the instant we get outside and I put her in the sling, she falls asleep). I haven’t painted it yet, but since I’m feeling all snowy, I wanted to share the illustration.

Actually, I have to say, I really do love the snow. Perhaps it has something to do with growing up in Alberta, where we would get lots of “Snow Days” where we wouldn’t have to go to school because it was too cold for the school buses to start (usually around -20 celcius). Then we would spend the whole day playing outside!
I decided to give Isabela a “Snow Day” from school today because the roads are so icy right now and I get a wee bit stressed driving on icy, snowy roads. In Vancouver, since it snows so infrequently, we don’t have snow plows, shovels or salt for the icy roads. Everyone just expects it to melt pretty quickly. And when it doesn’t, there’s a lot of accidents.
In the summer, the campground we went to had nature classes for children called “Jerry’s Rangers” that Isabela LOVED. They learned about pine cones, bears and outdoorsy kinds of things. They also got to wear hats and got stickers at the end.
When we came home from camping, she started asking me for more Jerry’s Rangers classes. So now we all put on hats and we do a little class about something. Usually I read them a story, we watch a youTube video on the topic, then we dance and then do a craft.
Today’s Jerry Ranger’s class was about snowflakes.





In the afternoon we played out in the snow. One of the big highlights for the kids is making “snow treats” (snow with juice on it). Since we rarely drink juice, this is a big treat.



Ah, breastfeeding. Some days that feels like all I do. Like yesterday when Fiona went through a growth spurt and wanted to feed non-stop from 11am to 11pm and skip all her naps.
With my first child, it took me about 4 months until I felt like I really got the hang of breastfeeding and my nipples stopped hurting. Now, by the third child, I actually look at breastfeeding as multiple “mini-breaks” where I get to lie down and rest while Fiona drinks some milk.
Babies are so amazing. When they are born, they have a limited range of focus. It just so happens that the distance their eyes can focus is the length between their eyes and their mother’s eyes as they are breastfeeding.
And I have to say, there really is nothing sweeter than when they stare up at you while they are nursing and gaze so affectionately into your eyes.

(I actually did parts of this painting while breastfeeding Fiona!)
Here is a Photoshop tutorial on how to make a soft glow and change the lighting of your photos. It’s really fun and easy to do.
1. Open up your photo in Photoshop. I’m using a photo of Fiona’s foot for this tutorial.
2. At the top, click “Images,” then scroll down to “Adjustments,” then down to “Brightness/Contrast”. Change the brightness to approximately 50%. If you have a really white, bright, or over-exposed photo already, then you can skip this step.
3. At the top, click “Layers,” then scroll down and click “Duplicate Layer.” A little box will come up. Click “OK.”
4. At the top, click “Filter,” then scroll down to “Blur,” then down to “Gaussian Blur.” Change it to make the Radius: 25 pixels.
5. On the side box, under “Layers,” at the very top there is a box that says “Normal.” Click this box and scroll down to “Multiply.” Voila! You are finished!
Here are a few other soft, glowy photos of our one month old Fiona.
This is a watercolor painting that I did just a few days before Fiona was born. I found myself being particularly triggered by everyone else’s emotions, mostly my kids screaming and fighting. And then I would start screaming too. Yikes.
So I came up with an affirmation that I would tell myself when I started to react to other people’s negative emotions. “I am the queen of my thoughts and feelings. I choose how I feel.” And when I was right in the middle of the chaos, I would just repeat to myself, “I am the queen. I am the queen. I am the queen.”
Then I did this painting and have it right above my computer so that I can look at it often to remind myself.
Nobody else has the power to make me feel angry. They can trigger me and push my buttons, but I choose how I react. When I get angry, it is my own choice. So I can also choose to not get angry. I can choose to be the queen.
These are the completed felt puppy dolls that Isabela and Diego made.
We’ve been working on this art project for several weeks now. They were able to do almost all of the steps on their own, but it took several sittings to work our way through the steps.
Step 1. They designed the puppy on paper.
Step 2. They cut out the design.
Step 3. They pinned the paper onto their choice of felt.
Step 4. They cut out the felt for both sides.
Step 5. They chose buttons for the eyes, nose, mouth and decorations.
Step 6. They sewed all the buttons onto the felt.
Step 7. We sewed the two sides of felt together (leaving a hole at the bottom for stuffing). This part I mostly did on the sewing machine. Isabela helped me a little and Diego helped cut the thread).
Step 8. They stuffed the puppies with cotton stuffing.
Step 9. We sewed the hole and the puppies were finished! They were awfully proud of themselves.
Every night I go for a walk after the kids are asleep and at least 3 times a week I bump into “my little skunk” along the way. One time I was about a foot away from the skunk before I noticed him. My heart started beating like crazy and I slowly backed away from him.
Since he’s become a regular in my life these days, I decided to look up a little more about skunk symbolism to see what message I am supposed to learn from him.
It turns out that a skunk is in fact the ultimate pacifist. He has to be very sure before he uses his defensive stink spray because it can take him up to a week to replenish his juices. He is confident, calm, self-assured and does no harm (except for a little stink).
My little skunk is reminding myself to centre myself into a calm, peaceful state.
Nesting feels pretty instinctual these days. I find myself feeling the need to have everything cleaned, in order, and all last projects completed now as the clock ticks nearer to having this baby. Everytime I go shopping I feel like I’m stocking up for a natural disaster. In a way, having a baby truly is like a natural disaster.
Hardwiring instincts nudge women into the role of nurturers and men into the role of providers. Given that we stepped out of the caves about 8,000 years ago, just a nanosecond in terms of emotional psychology, it shouldn’t be surprising that when we become parents our most basic instincts rise to the surface. But it is surprising. We find ourselves back in the prehistoric suburbs, where women wonder if baby might be allergic to mammoth and if there are enough wildberries in his diet, and where men stalk buffalo and question whether their hunting abilities will be good enough to get the family through the winter. (Babyproofing Your Marriage, p.23)
Babyproofing Your Marriage made me laugh, was easy to read, and made me wish it had been written 5 years ago when I had my first child. I highly recommend this book!
With the great invention of digital cameras, it seems like most of my photo albums are online nowadays. But I have seen how much my children love to look at photos, particularly of themselves. They have such short term memories, especially when they are young, that looking at a photo album is like seeing the story of their life.
When we went to Malaysia, Taiwan and Bali, almost two years ago now, I made a photo album for the kids of that trip and they still pull it out regularly and want me to tell them “the story” of the trip. What I noticed that was so effective about this book that I made was that it only had one photo on each page, so it was not overwhelming or too much to look at, like other albums I had previously made. And the photos they enjoyed the most were silly ones and action ones that showed them actually doing things. In other words, the photos that told a story were the most effective. It really didn’t matter if it was a great photo or not.
So now that our new baby is approaching, I decided to make Baby Books for all the kids so that I could tell them the story of how they came to this world and show them a snippet of the interesting and fun things we have done since they were born.
Here is the type of book that I use for the albums (this one is Diego’s book).
And I also made a special little painting for the first page of each album that shows the child with their favorite things.
Two of Diego’s favorite things are his stuffed panda bear and fire trucks.
Isabela’s loves anything that has to do with parties.
And Olee loves books and animals.
I went out for a walk today with my camera in search of beauty in unlikely places. I found myself drawn to all the back alleys and to the old, weathered garages and flowers popping out of the most unlikely places.
Finding beauty with my camera helps me to find beauty in my life and in those around me, even in the most unusual ways and unlikely places. By focusing on the beauty in others, and myself, it makes life a lot more enjoyable.
This is a watercolor painting that I created today called “Finding Balance” and is a pregnancy painting.
The dancer is self-portrait of myself at 8 months pregnant and gracefully balancing all of the aspects of my life. I oftentimes create paintings as sort of a visual mantra – something to help me to visualize the positive outcome that I want in my life. At this time what I really want is to peacefully maintain a sense of balance.
The hand is to remind myself that I am always supported by my Creator in everything I do, no matter how crazy things may feel. I am never alone and there is always a large, loving hand just waiting to catch me if I fall.
This is a watercolor painting that I did today of Isabela flying a kite. Two weeks ago we were out a playground in Stanley Park and a Chinese woman, who didn’t speak very much English, came walking by, selling kites. Isabela had been asking me for months for a kite, but I had no idea where to buy one, nor did I have the energy to go around searching from store to store for one. So this was my opportunity! I bought the kite and Isabela spent the next hour running all throughout the park flying her kite, around an around and around like I had never seen her run before.
Isabela had so much joy flying that kite, and almost a sense of freedom, as if she was flying as well, that everytime I thought about that experience it brought me a smile and I wanted to recapture it in a painting.
Now you might be wondering, after such a long pause in blogging and art making how I’ve suddenly had the time and energy to do much recently. My husband has been on vacation for the last two weeks and we traded several mornings off throughout his time off. But now for the most exciting part, since I first had Isabela, almost 5 years ago, I am now in the midst of my my first ever “Mommy Vacation”! My very brave husband, Chris, and his parents took the kids camping for the weekend!
I was almost in disbelief that it was actually going to happen, so I didn’t plan anything. I spent the first afternoon on a long walk and then bought some junk food and rented a Bollywood movie. Today I did a lot of exercise, meditated and journalled, and started and finished this painting of Isabela flying a kite.
I marveled at how much energy I had – I didn’t have my normal 1:30pm crash where I usually have to nap for an hour or two. I also had the desire to call up friends just to chat, which I don’t usually ever have because normally I’ve already spent the whole day talking non-stop to my kids. I also wanted to listen to music all day, whereas normally all I crave is silence. And last night I slept the whole night without earplugs, which is something I haven’t done for three years!
At 7pm, the time when we usually put our kids to bed, I was thinking how interesting it was that I didn’t miss my kids at all, until my husband called on his cell phone in order for the kids to say good night to me. Just hearing their voices made me cry, and I cried for another few minutes after that. I cherish my short vacation and my solitude as it has already recharged my batteries. But it’s also given me the wonderful joy of being able to miss my children and husband and remember just how much I love them.
“Peaceful Pregnancy” watercolor painting. This is how I like to imagine the peacefulness growing in my family, (and in my tummy!).
It’s been quite a while since I’ve done a painting. This pregnancy, especially the first 4-5 months really knocked me off my feet and I’ve had a slow recovery. Coming back to painting is an important step in bringing balance and peacefulness back to my life.
I have four pillars in my life that when I attend to each one of them, I feel balanced, peaceful, and joyful.
Pillar 1. My family. This one obviously takes most of my time and energy and tends to throw the other sides of my life out of balance.
Pillar 2. My spiritual life. Saying prayers and meditating everyday.
Pillar 3. Art. Painting in particular.
Pillar 4. Exercise. Thanks to restless leg syndrome, I’m now motivated to exercise everyday.
After I sketched out this painting and was outlining it in ink, just before starting in with the watercolors, Isabela came over and asked me what I was doing. I showed her the picture and she watched me for a while. Then I went in to get some lunch and she came in the kitchen a few minutes later saying, “Mama, I helped you with your drawing!” And yes, after I had spent the whole morning (on my treasured Saturday morning off when Chris watches the kids) working on this drawing, Isabela, I’m sure innocently enough, “helped” me by drawing with permanent ink on the drawing as well.
I was so angry I could hardly contain myself, but I asked her as nicely as I could muster, “Please don’t draw on Mama’s pictures again.” And Isabela, feeling upset that I did not appreciate her “help” retorted with “No! Anytime I see one of your drawings I’m going to draw on it!”
It took me about an hour to cool down and figure out a creative solution that would save my future art work. I took a piece of paper, laid it on top of my drawing, and traced a picture for Isabela so that she could have an identical one that she could draw and color. And then I gave it to her and said, “Anytime you would like me to make you a drawing, I will make you one. Just like you have special things that you don’t like anyone else to touch, so do I. But I will always make one for you if you ask me to.”
She seemed pretty pleased to have her own copy of my drawing and I think I managed to diffuse the situation.
Peacefulness, please come to me…..
Nothing like going hiking in the forest with a brand new camera to inspire some great photos.
My canon rebel xsi and my sigma 18-50mm f/2.8 macro very very delicious lens has gotten me rolling back into my photography and art. I’ve been sitting on the fence for the last 7 months about what camera to buy, but finally made up my mind this weekend and bit the bullet. My hang up was on the flash, because nobody makes a really nice portable, light flash for canon cameras (like the Nikon SB 400 equivalent). I decided to go for the good camera and hope that someone eventually makes a good flash one of these days.
Since my last post we’ve been to California, Vancouver Island, camping, and had many many wonderful family visitors.
Also, the kitchen is finally finished. Here is the kitchen tile, the last missing piece.
We went for a hike today in Lynn Valley and despite the suspension bridge being closed and our usual hiking path put on a detour, we had a fabulous time discovering all of the ripe salmon berries along the trail.
And a very happy Diego.
These days we’re all waiting around anxiously for Juliet’s baby, who is due this week. Today our friend, Mamadou, who is a Chinese doctor, came over to give her some acupuncture to try to get things rolling. We’ll see what happens….!
Kind of looks like I’m ready to pop in this picture too, but I still have three months to go!
These were from a beautiful sunset walk along the Vancouver seawall the other night.
Thanks to Claire Garland and her book, Toys to Sew, I have created these three sweet handmade dolls for the kids for Ayyam-i-ha.
Really, the process of creating these dolls has helped me to overcome a lot of my sewing fears and perhaps prejudices as well. In fact I liked it so much that I realized I would be able to do it even more and faster with a sewing machine, so I asked Chris to buy me one as my Ayyam-i-ha present.
So here is the Isabela Doll in her pajamas and bunny slippers.
The Diego Doll with his “Meow Meow” shirt riding along in the bus.
The Olee Doll with his Winnie the Pooh pajamas.
The Isabela doll here getting ready for a dance party with her dancing clothes.
And finally, the cousins wearing their party hats at the Ayyam-i-ha party.
I used Juliet’s felt cupcake tutorial to make these delicious felt cupcake toys as gifts for the kids this week as it is now Ayyam-i-ha!
My sister is 4 months pregnant now and I was thinking about how Olee and his new brother or sister are already starting to bond. Even though they haven’t seen each other yet, the baby can hear Olee, and Olee can hear that baby’s heart beat at the midwife appointments.
Around the painting I inscribed a beautiful little prayer by Baha’u'llah. It is meant to be whispered three times into each ear of the newborn baby.
“Verily, thou hast come by the command of God! Thou hast appeared to speak of Him, and thou hast been created to serve Him who is the Dear, the Beloved!”









































































